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Terrorists Find Fountain of Youth
Garbage Man Found Dead

03 December, 2007 - Professor Pow's Terrorists have reportedly discovered the Fountain of Youth. Authorities fear that Pow! will attempt to do something very, very evil ...forever.

Unfortunately, our steadfast protector, Colonel Crush, was distracted from Operation Fountain Protection while attempting to save the life of a Garbageman and exotic wine collector.

See the action in Colonel Crush 2: The Fountain OF ACTION!, Webisode 1, re-released today.

- Jon Fairhurst
Skitzo Studios Goes Viral?
Local videomaker unplugs Arnold

01 December, 2007 - Local videomaker Skitzo Studios may be in the process or going viral on YouTube with their send up of a CD commercial by Arnoldmeister. Hear the Governator sing your favorite songs here.

And don't forget to leave Jay and Skitzo Studios your comments with a reference to ColonelCrush.com...

- Jon Fairhurst
Be Young - Forever
Watch The Fountain OF ACTION!

19 November, 2007 - This week we are re-releasing the Teaser for Colonel Crush and the Fountain OF ACTION! This is the second Crush film, introducing our favorite action alien, Jennifer "Justice" Government.

And if you want a job on the Supreme Court, I'd recommend waiting until the film is fully released. I hear that there will be some openings...

- Jon Fairhurst
If Your Pizza is Late, it's FREE!
and then you die...

13 November, 2007 - That's right folks. Order any large pizza from Doorminos, and if it's late, it's FREE! (Offer not available within five miles of a police station...)

- Jon Fairhurst
Dungeon Master Wanted
Try Your Luck at a New Career

05 November, 2007 - The Flaky Corporation is looking for talentless individuals with a few skills and lots of luck to lead their company into the previous millennium. Channel your resume to InsaneHRmgr@flakycorp.con. It's a once-in-an imaginary life opportunity!

- Jon Fairhurst
Check Your Cereal!
Is it Really a Dream???

29 October, 2007 - You pour your milk on your cereal. You spoon your first bite. Is the milk still there?

Could it be a dream? ...or a nightmare!?!

- Jon Fairhurst
Re-experience the Odyssey
2005: An Odyssey OF ACTION! re-released

10 September, 2007 - Enjoy the film that started it all... Colonel Crush - 2005: An Odyssey OF ACTION!

This film was originally done as a high school English project. The class had read 2001: A Space Odyssey and a small team needed to do a project related to the book. They came up with a stupid CIA agent named Colonel Crush and they threw in a Monolith for good measure. Unbelievably, the teacher was trusting enough to approve it. (My theory is that they hypnotized her - or threatened her cats.)

The film introduces Matt Ellis as Colonel Crush, Nathan Fairhurst as Professor Pow!, Charylie Abernathy as Miss Espie O'Nage, and Matt Thogerson as Victor.

Four films later, the original still holds up.

Enjoy the ride as we release one Webisode per week. The full version is available for purchase in Quicktime or Windows Media format at The Colonel Crush Store.


- Jon Fairhurst
Us and Them Released
P3Pictures' 2006 48 Hour Entry Shown

03 September, 2007 - More than a year after its first screening at the 48 Hour Film Project event in Portland, 2006, Us and Them is now available for free viewing on the Web. The film was produced by P3Pictures and can be seen at ColonelCrush.com.

Unlike most P3Pictures films, Us and Them is a serious drama. The team drew "historical fiction" as their genre, and chose Arlington, VA, 1950 - the heart of the McCarthy era - as the setting. The topic is interrogation. When considering whether the main character should be the interrogator or the interrogated, the immediate and unanimous response was to center on the interrogator. Bad guys can be quite interesting.

Other required elements were the line of dialog ("Oh no, don't you dare go there"), the prop (nail clippers) and the character (Carol or Carl Marrow, scrapbooker.) In this film, Carl's scrapbook is a sick obsession.

We hope you enjoy this serious effort by the Poorly Projected Pictures troupe.

- Jon Fairhurst
Heart Break Break In Released on Colonel Crush Site
Portland's 48 Hour Score Winner Posted Online

28 August, 2007 - Poorly Projected Pictures has released their award winning 48 Hour Film for free viewing on the Colonel Crush website. The musical, Heart Break Break In, won the Best Musical Score award out of 55 Portland competitors.

Matt Thogerson stars as "Tea Cup", a goodie two shoes gone bad - all for a girl who doesn't love him. That girl, Jenine, is played by soprano Melissa Fairhurst. Required character Rachel Schwarz (Marissa Levine) plays a key role in the "Break In" part of the film. The three all studied voice under SaBella LaVallee.

Other singers include Jeremy Robeson (Chance) and Jason Keene (Deuce). The two play the muscle for the heist. AJ Newland, Jeff Drovdahl and Andy Morse play the victims.

The film was produced, directed, filmed and edited by Nathan Fairhurst. Story consultant Richenda Fairhurst oversaw the writing, which had contributions from the whole team. The score was composed by Jon Fairhurst, and Michael Fairhurst recorded the live sound.

Heart Break Break In was one of 13 films of 55 to make it to the Best of Portland screening. This was P3Pictures second year in Portland's final round.

- Jon Fairhurst
Colonel Crush Returns From Russia
Webisode 7 Completed

26 August, 2007 - After weeks of anticipation, Colonel Crush has returned from Russia, bringing the tape of Webisode 7 (complete with outtakes!) back to the CIA servers by boat. Though General Fubar was just plain thrilled to see Crush again, he was disappointed not to be presented with the hammer and sickle.

According to Professor Quincy Q. Quagmire, it's no big scientific loss. The relics weren't capable of spreading communism throughout the world anyway. They could be used to whip up a killer Borscht, however.

So, sit back and enjoy Colonel Crush 4: From Russia with ACTION! from start to finish. And get ready for Monday's release of Heart Break Break In, the award-winning musical produced by Poorly Projected Pictures for the 2007 48 Hour Film Project.

- Jon Fairhurst